letter to an unmet soulmate

I
am

searching for my soul within tonal patterns that vibrate the tympanic membranes hidden between places that hold visions of non-consensual, yet fulfilled catastrophes.

As illogical beats echo with steady reciprocity through this unowned heart-led dome of depleted affectivity,
I realize
that all I need is time--

time for feelings to consume,
overwhelm,
and lead me to those multiple missing moments
where seconds get lost in pleasurable, intrinsically created joys that could only be shared dyadically
by two souls who yearn to be in light.

I feel

that although
I may have found my reflection in your being,
and despite that
i understand
the language your broken heart speaks,
our deciphering must be taken with great caution
as what may appear to be an infinite reality
can instead find itself to become evanescent,
much like the illuminations that stem from the sky--
transformations
of invisible radiations
setting forth to unequivocally harm you
and me
deep into the very core
of our existence.

Yes,
I have heard the warnings.

Yes,
I have walked the trail of darkness left by deception

I have even felt the wrath of unconscious battles
that often unbalance the state of living

but at this point-
I don’t care

all that I know is that
I
need
to
feel

… with you.

There’s too much confusion,
fear,
passion,
and love

to remain in void


should we be scared

let the wind
remind us
of the uncertainties that tomorrow brings

where unexpected deaths of roses
bloom fragrant
existences
reminiscent
of stellar creations;

in the meantime,
let us attempt to
permeate

in heartbeats
that
contemporaneously fear
in-advance betrayals from vagabond trespassers.

we will achieve
and not just facades
or chemical secretions
within limbic planes

but uncontaminated felicity
sterilized by time.

patience is remedy

until then
I will anxiously await
for your beginning
at the end
of your
sorrows relinquishment

waiting for the ability
to grasp your breath
with what beats inside of me

as it is only then
that I will know
I am awake
...
it is only then
that you will know
we are alive

as one.

___written by: jenn (me)___